I worked out this morning--2 miles of running and 1 mile of powerwalking--in an effort to curb my nervousness about my first day of work tomorrow. TO NO AVAIL! It hit me as I was sitting here, calmly working on a paper about Martin Luther King, Gandhi, and Nhat Hanh and their understandings of suffering as redemptive, and I realized I hadn't yet finished reading the binders of information for work I was given to have read by tomorrow. Where did the time go? I don't see it anywhere! Somehow all this has snuck up on me! So now I'm plowing through my binders of info and my half-glass of red wine isn't helping me relax...baaaaaaaah!
I'm nervous about working--more nervous than my wedding day or when we bought the house (or car, or dog). I'm not sure what exactly makes me anxious. I fully intend to do a great job and knock their socks off, but for some reason, just the fact that it'll be my first day makes me anxious. I suppose this is just the jitters of "How is it going to be? Will I really like it like I think I will? Where will my cubicle be? Will I break the coffee machine? Will I spill things on myself in front of management? Will I forget everyone's name? Will people be staring at my butt and pointing because it is so big that I look like a hippo?" I feel like it's my first day of junior high and I don't know ANYone in the school. I feel quite sure that nothing monstrously bad will happen--in fact I have already met and like many of my new colleagues and I know beyond reasonable doubt that my butt is not the size of a hippo's derriere. If my hair looks stupid I'll just tie it back, and if I spill something on myself...well, I'll just wear the stain for the rest of the day. I've done it before. So, really, I shouldn't be anxious. It'll be fine and I'm sure I'll come home tomorrow feeling like my day was rather boring. And then I'll call my family and friends and be completely blase about the whole thing: "Oh, yeah, I started work this week. No, it was totally tame but I expected that...wasn't the least bit worried at all..."
Shouldn't they have a magazine article devoted to this? "My first day of work in my first real job in my first real suit with the same old lunchbox."
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3 comments:
What? No new lunch box to go with the new ensemble, workout, and skincare regimine?
I had to come and visit your site here today. Good luck on your new job. You will do great!!!!
I am interested to hear about those papers you are working on about Ghandi, Martin Luther King and Nhat Hanh. What is the paper for? I love anything that has to do with deeper insight, spiritual growth and wisdom.
Check my frappr page out.
Viola
Where's your frappr page?
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