Scratch All That

I bought a car yesterday. I bought a Mazda 3 with the safety package and other amenities. I bought it off the lot and got very fair deal--not a total steal like my dad prides himself on getting, but a good one--below MSRP. Our payments will be very reasonable per my credit and overall I feel really good about it. Actually I have been rolling my eyes ever since this car fiasco began. Tell me if you see a pattern in how long it takes me to choose things:

Spouse: 3 days

House: 2 days

Dog: Received from Puerto Rico after having seen one photograph

Car: 2 hours

The GOOD part about this is I almost always make great decisions on the fly--it's when I think about them too much that I make bad ones. I showed up to look at the Focus and the Mazda 3, as they are fairly comparable in base price, and drove the Mazda 3 (having driven the Focus for a week before). HUGE DIFFERENCE IN QUALITY. I could feel it when I was driving it. The salesman said that the Mazda 3 is made on the same frame as a Volvo, and that is why it drives like a better car. It sits very differently than the Focus. It responds better, is MUCH quieter, glides over the road like butter on a hot knife, and in my opinion it also looks better. It has a five-star safety rating that my salesman said has helped his customers get breaks on insurance, but I'll reserve judgment on that until I get the insurance bill.

I bought this car alone, but I didn't feel panicky about what my husband would say. He is away for work again. We've had many conversations, but here's the jist of what we discussed:

1) No sense in getting a fancy over-30k car because it will take a beating on the Boston roads and I will want to wash the salt off EVERY DAY in a panic

2) No sense in getting an absolute crap car that won't last more than 7 years, so we wanted quality without paying through the nose for a Volvo or Audi or something

3) His jeep will poop out within five years (it's a 96), so we wanted to get a car for me that would LAST awhile so as to stagger choosing autos

4) I will need something semi-businesslike, which we were debating on the Focus (is it "nice" enough looking? doubtful--for now would be fine but after six years it wouldn't say "business executive-in-training" well.)

and, finally, here is what he said:

5) "This is YOUR car, honey. Get something YOU like to drive. We can afford the payments (within reason)."

So, my Mazda 3 was about 2k more than we would have spent on a Focus. I don't feel guilty about that, even though I otherwise would, because the feel of the car is absolutely superior, the safety is superior, and the resale value of Mazda 3s is considerably higher than a Ford Focus. Also, I generally just don't feel a sense of regret. I always do when I've screwed up, but I don't feel it.

The dealership is very, very convenient to my house--about 15 minutes of "main street" driving rather than highway. Tomorrow morning I have to go get my plates off my Chevy and take them to the dealership, then the salesman is going to follow me home, bring me back to the dealership, and give me a "loaner car" until I come back to pick up my tagged, inspected, washed, shined, and fully insured car (he's handling all of the phone calls and preparation on that). I realize I'm probably paying for all that through the price of the car, but ahhhhhhhhh it's lovely. I'll pick the car up around 4 because I am to pick up my husband at 5 in Milton.

In general, this dealership is similar to many because any time I have work done on my car (free, of course), I get a loaner car for the day if the work will take 4 hours or more. This will likely be negotiable if I *cannot* miss work and the tune up will take a couple of hours--I could always bring the loaner car back and pick up my car at lunch if I brought it in before work. (I'm told they give preferential treatment for loyal, local customers.) Also, they open at 7 for those of us who have to hurry to work and they provide breakfast, internet, phone, etc. They are also open Saturdays. They have roadside assistance anywhere in the country, 24/7 for free and a whole bunch of other perks. I'll tell you what, I am hoping this dealership seems to be as honest as it seemed yesterday because it would be SO nice to be able to trust a dealership to take care of my car. The salesman yesterday seemed honest--told me the specs, offered to show me other cars, even cheaper ones, and said, "I get a flat rate commission, so I don't want to tell you what car you should like--you will like what you will like, and I'm just here to help you test drive and tell you about the cars." I had assumed I'd get a salesman pushing me toward the more expensive cars, but nope. He didn't even show me the fancy car I ended up buying until I said I wanted side air bags, and then I got to test drive THAT one too. My car-buying experience was totally up to me, and he more facilitated than anything. I felt pretty solid about my decision, even though I've never bought a car before and my husband was out of town. I made the best decisions I could, and my husband trusts me. Frankly, in almost every financial situation, we agree, so I'm not worried. He's much more willing to spend money on cars than I am, so I think he'll be excited about a non-Focus.

As an aside, this car has the antenna right in the middle of it. Very symmetrical. I LOVE that.

Now I just have to figure out a way to tell my husband. "Honey, you know how you told me to get what I wanted?...welllllll..."

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly (backwards)

The Ugly News: The Chevy is completely shot. No chance of fixing it and we're just hoping we don't have to pay to tow it to the junkyard.

The Bad News: I need a car within the week, and Massachusetts laws are awful. I have to get plates, proof of insurance, EVERYTHING, before I can drive a car off the lot. Before I get that done I have to choose the car to switch plates and procure insurance. It's a mess.

The Good News: A good girlfriend of mine is marrying a banker who, up until a couple of months ago, was the director of banking for Eastern MA and Southern NH for car dealership sales. He sold car bonds to the dealerships, basically, which means he knows everyone in town. He just offered to take me around to "his" dealerships--the ones he trusts--and will help me negotiate price and such. He said he will help me get something at or slightly above wholesale as well as getting me a competitive financing rate. This is great because I've been worried about getting screwed. I think, quite honestly, that he's taking pity on us. We've never bought a new car before and we're ripe for a big fat ripoff. Also, I'm singing in their wedding in August.

The Even Better News: If I buy in Nashua near him, I think I get to skip the MA laws about procuring insurance BEFORE driving off the lot. Woohoo!

Darn Car

The car needs a new cylindar head, a new gasket, and some new other stuff. It'll cost 2100 dollars to fix. The car is worth 2000 at best. CRAP. CRAP CRAP CRAP.

I could cry but I won't. Interest rates are pretty high right now. I wonder, should I ask my dad for a loan at a lower rate than 9 percent??

Finished My Oral Examinations

And got an A! At the end, after giving me my grade, my advisors asked me when I plan to send this off to press. They have already made contacts at Abingdon Press for me.

I am so sleepy now! I know I have papers to write left but I just feel like goofing off today.

Good Thing I Got My Teeth Cleaned

because today is my oral examination. Well, on my thesis, but I'm hoping my bright-white smile will help me pass.

I'm up early drinking my new french vanilla blend coffee (que delicioso!) and browsing through blogs. Last night I had an absolute blast at my husband's district dinner. We were at the Winchester Country Club, which is unbelievably beautiful in every way, including the neighborhood. We got there early because he had to help set up, so I struck up a conversation with another non-setter-upper who had arrived early. His name was John, and we had a lot to talk about. In fact, we talked the whole evening, even sat together at dinner (his wife was home with the kids and my husband was running around constantly, so it worked out). About partway through the dinner, after having gushed over how much I liked the club, I said, "Have you ever been here before?" He looked at me strangely and said, "Umm...yes. This is my club. I am here because I am sponsoring this dinner." OOPS! He's also on the board of the local hospital, has a big boat that he invited us out on about ten times, and in addition to being an estate lawyer has multiple side businesses--including sponsoring inventions. He was so incredibly interesting and I can't wait to go out on the boat with him, his wife (if she'll go, he says she hates the boat but might go if I go), and his three boys, the youngest of which is two. After the dinner, I told my husband all that happened, and he began to laugh. Apparently I have an uncanny knack for talking to really, really important people and not having a clue who they are! Believe me, this happens a lot.

Also, I had quite a blessing the other day. Let me copy from an email to my dad:

Just thought you would enjoy the fact that the tow truck guy who came was a crotchety old guy who for some reason took an interest in my plight. He asked how long we had lived there (we’re obviously new), what was wrong with the car, when it happened, what did it sound like, etc. He was a mechanic also. He said another dealership was much better and closer and charged me nine dollars for the tow. He said he’d mention all that I told him about what went wrong to the mechanic and make sure they called me. He also told me it shouldn’t be more than 150 to fix unless something’s really awful. Then he shooed me away and told me he would “take care of everything” and fifteen minutes later I peeked out the window and he had gotten his flashlight out and was looking around in the engine! He did a few test tries turning on the car and seemed to make SURE he knew what was wrong. Then he towed it. I think he wants to make sure we don’t get taken for a ride by the dealer.

It is amazing how nice people are when they figure out that we are just starting out in life.

As you might be able to tell, we now are only driving one car, as my junky Chevy is at the shop. I honestly don't know if 1) it's fixable, and 2) it's fixable on our budget. I'm going to call again to see. Some have quoted me 150, some have said upwards of 1500. We are looking into other options, such as purchasing a used vehicle (high interest rate, but lower written price, questionable history, doesn't lose value terribly quickly) or a new vehicle (low interest rate by about 6%, but higher written price, known perfect history, loses some value when you drive it off the lot.) I don't know what to do. We are praying my Chevy makes it to the end of the summer because we might get better deals on a car then. It might not. I wanted to be able to drive this car into the ground before I got a new one, but everyone who has looked under the hood has said, "Well, (snicker), this car is definitely in the ground, if that's where you wanted it." Excuse me, Mr. Mechanic, I would prefer that this occur later. Tell me it'll be cheap to fix. Tell me it'll go another 50,000 miles. Oh, you think it won't drive another ten miles? I'll have to seek out a seventh opinion here. Please call my tow truck guy again.

Of course this is all happening right after we plunked down most of our liquid cash to pay closing costs on this house. I would not in any way shape or form claim that we're poor, but this particular month has me concerned. By the end of May I'll have a paycheck, but just at the moment I don't. Luckily we make sure to keep enough savings to fall back on for a few months, so if we have to make a couple of car payments from it, it'll be all right. Thank goodness for Midwestern fiscal values, right? So, self, do not worry about what you will wear, or what you will drive. Consider the lillies. Do not they all have reliable transportation?

In any case, whether we purchase a used car or new one, I don't have the first clue what to buy. I want a four-door smaller sedan, and I don't like the bubble look of a Ford Taurus (doesn't it look like a humpback?). The car I really love is a Jetta, but this might be a bit pricey if bought new. Does anyone have any suggestions of good, safe, smaller sedans that don't cost an arm and a leg? Also, it needs to be all-wheel-drive or 4WD if possible, the hill we live on is a ***** in winter ice.

The Politically Incorrect Guide

As of last night I've been reading The Politically Incorrect Guide to Women, Sex, and Feminism, by Carrie Lukas. It's an excellent read so far, particularly for me. Until last year I had every intention of going into academia as a professor of feminist and religious studies, but my feminism is akin to that of Elizabeth Cady Stanton rather than Gloria Steinem. I came to realize through my six years of study that there was no room for "old-school" feminists, particularly Christian or Republican ones. The form of feminism that is dominant in academic circles and our society in general is an anti-establishment, anti-monogamy, leftist political group. Many of my opinions were considered taboo in my feminist classes, such as, "If you're not ready for a baby, you're not ready for sex." My personal practices were and are pretty conservative, and this coupled with my belief in capitalism pretty well threw me out of feminist academia. When I read Christina Hoff-Summer's Who Stole Feminism, a lightbulb went off in my brain, but she didn't deal with the practical side of what young women are being taught by feminist-influenced education, literature (Cosmo, for example), and college campus cultures. Free love means unpaid sex for men, and we're the suppliers (or else we're prude). Carrie Lukas goes into the messages thrown at young women, without sounding overly judgmental or evangelical, and urges readers to decide for themselves how they want to approach life and sex. I am really enjoying this book so far, even though I'm past the point in my life where I would be considering "hook-ups," but I am to the point where I'm considering how important I want my career to be, and how we will handle children once we have them. I hope Lukas will go into this conundrum in later chapters.

In Defense of Cell Phones

from a post I made on Townhall, in response to an article blasting the prevalent use of cell phones.

This sounds like a lot of baby boomer hullabaloo about the fact that the world is changing. My generation IMs, text messages, and calls while running errands. Is it entirely necessary that we give ALL our attention to what brand of pasta we put in our grocery carts?

I talk to my parents and family and friends frequently--iming and chatting on the cell phone whenever I'm doing otherwise mindless tasks and have something to say. Is this important? No, but neither is choosing squash or corn. What IS important is the connection I have with them, as I live halfway across the country from most of the people I love. My generation is necessarily mobile and faces long commutes because of the incredibly high cost of living in the city and nearby suburbs. We don't have time to spare to sit at home and chat on the phone. In my marriage, both my husband and I work to pay off our student loans, so all errands, housework, and chores must be done in a short period of time. Whenever it's mindless, we squeeze in our best effort at quality time with those we love.

I avoid talking on my phone in the car or when doing anything else that requires my attention. I always end phone calls before checking out at a store and if anyone requires my attention who is physically in front of my, I put my phone call on hold to give that person the proper attention. I try to talk quietly by making sure to have a phone with a good microphone, enabling me to talk in hushed voice quieter than I would talk to someone next to me on the subway. But, otherwise, I want to invest my time in people who matter. I don't want to pay attention to marketing or panhandlers or watching hipsters rock out to their Ipods.

So, for those of you who have the luxury of living close to family or close to your place of employment or have a spouse at home taking care of errands and chores, more power to you. But for the rest of us youngsters who face a tougher lifestyle than you now face, let us keep in touch with our families and friends whenever we can. We realize they'll be gone before we know it.

Oh, and as an aside, I know I'm not important--but my family is

Sunday Morning

There's something about Sunday mornings I have always loved. I've hated Sunday mornings, too, particularly when I'm exhausted and I've got to play bells at early church, but overall I love them. I especially appreciate them now, as I was on somewhat of a spiritual hiatus my first year at HDS. I felt bullied in every direction but there was no retreat, nowhere to go that would give me fellowship and worship. I did go to a church, but I disagreed so heartily with the pastor on pretty much every issue, including how to be a pastor, that I first stopped taking communion, then started walking out of sermons, then started walking out of prayers, then just sat in the church library the whole time, then stopped coming altogether. I tried to like it because my husband was the pastoral intern, but I simply couldn't. Then we found our current church after his internship was over and I love it! I didn't realize how much I enjoy this church until we came back after our summer-long vacation, and coming back was like coming home. I saw folks I knew, got caught up on things, and I looked forward to it. This church enables me to lower my hackles, which is wonderful because in order to survive Harvard Divinity, you've got to be aggressive, thick-skinned, and somewhat two-faced. I have managed to get aggressive and sometimes to have thick skin, but I have never managed being two-faced. A girl can only stretch her temperament so far.

In any case, Sunday morning feels like some kind of cleansing to me. It is time to take care of our spirituality, to nurture our relationship with God, and to face up to wrongs we have committed. Sunday morning feels like a chance to start over, a chance to get centered before the week begins. I hope this Sunday continues to feel that way. I'm going to wear my new shoes. That is also very exciting.

I think today I will reward my work on my Celtic paper by allowing myself to start readiing the 4 binders of info I have been given for my upcoming job. The closer this job gets, the more I believe I can handle it, and I'm excited to try. This is a new adventure for me--the private sector--but I am not afraid. My new boss is setting up a meeting for my colleagues and me sometime within the next couple of weeks, just a little get-together after work so that I have a chance to say hello outside the busy workplace.

My husband and I bought a treadmill yesterday. We got one from Walmart that had a great price, and since we could just put it in his jeep, we didn't have to pay the astronomical shipping one would otherwise pay for a treadmill. We set it up and tried it out. I jogged at least 1.5 miles and power walked somewhere over half a mile, and my husband jogged/walked 1.5 miles. He's in worse shape than I am, but of course since he is male the weight will just melt off him. We both found it significantly easier to exercise when it's right in the living room--just turn on a show you like and hop on! There's no gym bag to park, no parking to find, no locker room showers, no losing your gym card...just throw on your workout clothes, gym shoes, work out, and get in the shower. I like it. It also gives me the excuse to shower at night. I have always hated morning showers, and I hate them extra now because there is one bathroom between the two of us and we have to be out the door at the same time. My new plan is to shower at night, post-running, and then wet my hair in the morning and style as usual. This also means I don't have to do my routine of letting my lotion soak in for 15 minutes before I get dressed. I think my mornings should be much more pleasant and quicker from now on. Also, that lovely sore feeling reminds me to take care of my body. As I said before, if I put junk in my body, it will affect my skin (and hair, and butt, and everything else), so I need to take care of myself.

My new job begins at 8 am. Eight!!!! I'll have to scoot out the door at seven, which will put me there around 7:30, but if I leave at 7:15, I'll arrive at 8. I'd rather not sit in the car an extra 15 minutes. If I get to work early, I can grab a cup of coffee and get situated before beginning my day. During my six-month training period I hope to knock their socks off with how quickly I learn. There's another Harvard undergrad who will be working alongside me, so I now know who the Joneses are work-wise. It'll be nice to have someone to go through the program with but I've got to make sure and be better than he is if I am to be promoted as quickly as I intend. I don't do things half-way, and I want to give this my all.

Well, my husband is up and in the shower, so I'd better down this cup of coffee and get ready for church.

Saturday

Today is the unofficial kickoff of yard sale season. I had every plan to go--even got dressed early for it--until my husband asked me what we wanted at a garage sale, being that we ourselves are trying to get rid of our stuff. I thought, and thought, and finally came up with, "a rake. I want a rake." Apparently this answer wasn't good enough, so here I am, lazing around on a Saturday morning. We also plan to get a new dining table for our eat-in-kitchen, but we will likely purchase that new or off craigslist. The new prices aren't much more expensive than the used prices for good furniture, and we know exactly what we want. We prefer the tables that are higher than the average table--I believe they are called "cafe style." We found it at Jordan's and Bernie and Phyl's within a reasonable price range. Here's a picture of one we like.

Someone is coming in half an hour to give me an estimate on rebuilding the retaining wall and stairs down to the basement. We've got to get that done, but we also want to do it cheaply. There's no sense in building a gorgeous retaining wall fit for Desperate Housewives homes when our house simply isn't of that caliber. I think our realtor called it "over-improvement." It's a waste of money. I hope the guy who comes to give us the estimate understands our predicament--we want it to look nice, and we're willing to pay for installation and such, but we have no intention of using fancy rocks or anything else that the large companies want us to use. When I mentioned the type of blocks I was interested in to the large companies, I got quite a bit of scoffing. When I mentioned the blocks I want to this guy, he said, "Oh yeah, they look good, they are the least expensive of the lot, and if installed well, the wall will last forever. Great choice." Quite a different response, and I hope this attitude of his continues right on to the price given in the estimate. Our alternative is to try to do it ourselves (ick!).

This Thursday is the annual council dinner for my husband's work. Last year a flag fell and missed my head by inches, shattering my plate and surprising the heck outta me. I didn't know what to do so I just sat there, then laughed. Apparently this made a good impression on the rest of the Scout executives. Then we went on a dinner cruise for Christmas with the council executives, and the dancing in the center dance area got a bit crazy. By the end of the night I had led them all in the Thriller dance (not that hard to learn, just line up and follow me!) and had gotten the old execs to mix with the young execs by encouraging all the wives to boogey with me. By the end of the night, I remembered that this was an event for "work," and hoped I hadn't blown my husband's chances of promotion by my enthusiasm on the dance floor. I had also sat next to the new head honcho during dinner and had lots of fun conversation with him and his wife. They are delightful people with six--SIX--boys!!!! In any case, my husband said everyone had a blast with me, so I refuse to be embarrassed in retrospect. I am looking forward to seeing everybody again at the dinner. I hope we sit next to Pete, who has swum with sharks and has lots of stories about sharks. I loooooooove getting scared by shark stories.

Got my facial yesterday. It was absolutely lovely!!!!!!!! I am absolutely, positively going back before graduation. I only got a half-hour facial because it was free, but I plan to get the hour long facial next time. It is absolutely worth the money, and if I have any extra spending money, I want to collect their skin care line as I am able. I always feel guilty about spending money when I should give it to charity or the church, but I also want to take care of myself. I don't get massages, I don't get manicures or pedicures more than once a year, but I do want better skin. I need to take care of it. The better my skin is, the less I have to mess with makeup, and that is HUGE for me because no foundation will properly match my freckled skin. Also, I had a revelation while I was getting my facial. The more crap I put in my body, the more crap will come out my pores. If I want my skin to look better, I had better give my body better nutrition. I started by eating a salad for lunch, and I intend to continue. Today we are also picking up a treadmill. I'm not sure what my running regimen will be, but I've got to start one. I'm thinking of 1.5 miles of jogging a day. ??? Not sure.

It would sure be nice if I could feel confident and fit by graduation. I don't expect to be in the shape I was in college, with my hours of training every day, but it would be nice to be a bit fitter. I need to get a goal in mind, but I don't have one yet.

My husband's out of the shower so I'm going to gab with him.

Shoes

What is it about sexy pumps that makes a girl feel like a grownup lady? I just bought two pairs for work and I can't wait to wear them everywhere!!!! I hope I become one of those women who can wear heels on an everyday basis. My feet are a dainty narrow 7 and my legs aren't shabby either, so I would love to learn to show them off more.

Musings from the Library

I'm in the absolutely gorgeous reading room of the library where I work, and I don't have much to do. So, I'll muse.

I'm beginning to understand why people put so much effort into their homes. The small twinge of satisfaction I've had from cleaning and improving my home has made a huge difference in my experience of my house. It has gone from being a house to a home. I'm also feeling more clarified mentally. The more I can find things easily, the less frantic I feel as I go about my day. There are many things I have yet to do on the house--MANY--but geting even a few of them done makes a big difference. I am considering painting the counters instead of replacing them. They're in good shape as counters go, but they're ugly. I'm also thinking that an eventual project will be to build a mantle for our fireplace.

I think, perhaps, that the reason I trust God so much is I realize I can't do much better. I don't trust in science and I don't trust in medicine; those are falliable because they're run by humans. The only being I really trust is God, and I firmly believe God is active in our lives and wants us to be joyful. I have been down the paths of desolation, but I have come through those periods more grateful than before. I know my time at Harvard has been useful in some way--if only to make me happier once I have left.

I think our obsession with thinness has something to do with our cultural acceptance of pornography. Victoria's Secret commercials show gyrating supermodels in lingerie during our favorite shows. Fascination with the female body--and a growing fascination with the male body--has come to dominate our media and thus our homes. Is there any way to unplug from our sex-saturated culture while still remaining part of our society? Do we have to become Amish to divorce socially-mandated lust from our lives?

Why do we listen to celebrities' political opinions? Life is a tale told by an idiot--and they're the idiots telling the tales.

I had better begin researching my next paper.

My Friend, the Joggler

My friend Zach Warren just made another world record! This time it's not for unicycling, it's for joggling. He and another joggler ran the Boston Marathon yesterday and he beat his own past world record. Pretty cool, eh?

There's video of a newscast about him here, and here's the original pre-marathon Globe article about him, and here's the latest Globe article.





If you're curious about why he's joggling (and unicycling, the next world record to be set by him), check out www.unicycle4kids.org. He spends his summers in Afghanistan teaching kids circus tricks. Along the way, they learn about brushing teeth, washing hands, and most importantly, how to laugh in such a war-torn country. I am on the email recipient list and his stories were amazing. Some parents had never--never--seen their children laugh or sing. With the Afghan Mini-Mobile Circus, the kids sing, play, clap, and more. If there's one thing that will build up trust between Afghanistan and the United States, it's connecting through loving the same children.

Just Turned In My Thesis

and I'm feelin' fine! We're thinking of going out for dinner tonight to celebrate and to avoid creating more dishes to wash. We are still behind on dishes. I aim to get caught up on them tonight. We are also going to sort through some boxes and put out more for the VA to pick up tomorrow.

I'm in the mood for a road trip. Road trips are great because they enable to feel like you have really left everything behind. However, I think I can channel that same feeling into our house. We're in a cottage overlooking the lake and it looks like rain tonight. It's cool and calm and I've got my two boys with me. My husband doesn't have to work tonight so we've got all our time to ourselves. Rather indulgent, don't you think?

Happy Easter!

It's Easter! We had so much fun in church this morning. The kids were all ADORABLE in their Easter outfits, and we sat right by our favorite baby to watch, Ava. She giggles and claps and shows her four teeth. Once, when she was in a waving phase, the pastor was preaching and she was enchanting the whole congregation by waving at every person she saw. The pastor finally made a joke about it and she turned and waved at him, and he waved back, and she waved with BOTH hands and started clapping and giggling. I think the pastor had felt a bit upstaged until he got his own special, four-toothed grin with two-hand wave. He melted and we all got a good laugh out of it. Anyway, Ava was wearing a pink dress and had a pink bow stuck on her head. We have other favorite kids to watch--Jeffrey had a blue striped suit on (with hiking boots, of course), and Timmy wore a sailor's outfit. So many people have such adorable kids, and it makes church fun! Also, we are finally to the point where people notice when we're not at church, and we have plenty of people to talk to in coffee hour. Church is probably the one hour of the week when I actually feel good about New England.

Today I am about to get to work on my thesis. I have to write the intro and conclusion and then start to clean it. I am supposed to turn it in tomorrow and it needs a lot of work! I had been on a total brain freeze for months. I'd write something, but it would be awful, so I would delete it. I actually ended up with less material than when I started, which was really frustrating. Then I got into some really good discussions about God with one of my closest friends this weekend, and it got my juices flowing. I realized that I have spent far too much time worrying about how the message would be taken (and thus dancing around my imaginary people's being offended) than actually saying the message that has been given to me to write. I started going back to Scripture and the words began to flow. I love, love, love the Bible! It turns out that my belief supplies words, even in the face of Harvard criticism. My criticism has been mixed--a lot of people are very, very against my tie to Christianity, but almost everyone who has read my work has said it moved them. Even my advisor, who isn't Christian, said that she was moved so much that she is re-examining her own spirituality and found herself drawn back to God through my work. She's a professor of theology, so this was really uplifting! I try to keep that in mind as I write instead of the harsh criticism that has also been thrown my way. I don't consider myself any kind of writer, but I do care very much about whether my work helps women deepen their faith.

Anyway, I'd probably better get to work.

It's a Beautiful Morning!

I think I'll go outside for awhile...and just smile...and breathe in the clean, fresh air now! There's no sense in staying inside when the weather's fine and you've got the time!

Today is absolutely beautiful. Gorgeous! It's 9:30 in the morning and I'm letting my husband sleep in as much as possible; he has been so swamped and underslept, and I know his thesis is suffering for it. We have Good Friday off--a strange side effect of this non-religious-yet-staunchly-Catholic city. It will be wonderful to have a whole day with my husband, with the sunshine streaming in, the lake below reflecting the cloudless sky above, and the birds singing, "It's Spring!"

Yesterday I was sitting with a mental block on my thesis, so what did I do? I cleaned out the back porch. It had served as a repository for all our boxes and other forms of junk that we simply weren't using and didn't want to deal with. I dealt with them. On Tuesday, the Vietnam Vets Association is going around to all the houses, doing pickups of household items (clothing, curtains, linens, anything up to small furniture), and I don't think they have any idea what they are in for. WE HAVE SO MUCH EXTRA STUFF!!!!!!!! When we moved, we didn't go through our things--we just chunked everything in boxes and put them in the truck. The lady before us also left a surprising collection of wall art and small furniture, none of which we like. It is all going now! When I began to plow through our stuff, I quite literally got rid of HALF. HALF, and that isn't counting the yet-to-be-resorted stuff IN the tubs. My husband and I are going to go through those together, as they contain clothes, shoes, and such. The VA especially desires clothes and shoes, and we certainly haven't worn them in two years, so have at it! Boy, I can't tell you how great it feels to get junk OUT of here!!!!!! Woohoo! This week I have also had a getting-rid-of-boxes crusade, setting them on the porch and posting on craigslist for people to come get them. Our place is really coming together and I am so pleased with it!

And yet, of course, today I just want to do yard work in the sun. I want to slap on some bug spray and put on my work gloves and start cleaning up this ugly yard! If I'm lucky I'll get freckled while I am at it. This morning I plan to go to the hardware store--always a welcome trip for me--and I have a whole list of things I need. Wow--the hardware store AND yardwork in one measy day! YAAY!!!!! I hope I get all muddy.

Though it is Good Friday, and I am supposed to be meditating on the sacrifice of Christ, I can't help but marvel at His goodness. What a wonderful, blessed assurance we have in Jesus, and how incredible our lives can be when we follow Him. Time and time again the value of following Christ has been proven to me, and though my life hasn't gone the way I planned, it has surpassed anything I ever expected. There is no end to the gifts of God given to us, and I feel this keenly this morning.

ChristyTime Rocks!

Oh, how I do love ChristyTime! Because I am cruising on my thesis, I am indulging myself with a private viewing of Mona Lisa Smile, complete with popcorn, blanket, and new couch. Oh, and dog begging for popcorn. I decided to watch Mona Lisa Smile because it has been on my mind quite awhile. I've been reminding myself of the collegiate women who "set up house" once they are married. That is exactly what I've been doing. I am even continually excited by the washer and dryer--right in our own house! No more laundromat! I feel like I'm both playing at being an adult and doing a really good job of it. In Mona Lisa Smile, the viewer is drawn to view the students as "girls," and then one day, they're married women with homes and hoping for children someday. The viewer is surprised, but the girls see it coming. Many of my fellow graduate students are still adolescent in the way they handle themselves and their lives, but my husband and I passed that mark quite awhile ago.

My popcorn is ready and I'm going to snuggle up and watch.

Busy Weekend!

This weekend was incredibly busy! I needed a rest, but no rest was in sight. Luckily, I got a different kind of rest--the kind that comes from accomplishing many odd tasks. Individually, they were not of life-or-death importance, but together, they were a big nuisance because they weren't finished! It was much akin to trying to get to the last box in a series of boxes, and every time you need to access that box, you have to move all the rest. The obvious solution is to make a pathway or restack the boxes for easier access. In addition to all my work on setting up our financial box and our house information box (full of info on companies and products we will likely use within the year), I rented a Uhaul for yesterday's retrieval of the beautiful china cabinet. Before we went to pick it up, though, I suggested to my husband that we head over to Burlington's Pizzeria Uno for a nice post-church lunch. I mentioned on the way that I thought Lay-Z-Boy furniture gallery, usually far out of our price range, was having a sale a few weeks ago, so perhaps we might be able to stop and have a look to see if they were selling any floor models within our financial reach. If we could pick it up from the store, we'd save even more money, as we already had the Uhaul for the entire day anyway. As you probably do not know, we've been sitting on a loveseat that smells like cigarettes and cat pee, with the sides of it shredded so the stuffing is coming out and an old, vinyl recliner from the 60s with duct tape all over it to keep the stuffing in. Sounds cozy, right? In reality, it made the room feel trashy and me trashy in it. I've been pricing sofa sets for months. When we arrived in Burlington, a man with a sign proclaimed the emminent closing of this location, and all items must go! 50% off! So, after our mini-pizzas, we toddled on over there and found a great deal on a sofa and loveseat and coffeetable that suit us. The sofa is a beige with a floral tapestry in crimson, evergreen, and royal blue, and it has gold detail. It's a very warm pattern, and the sheen of the tapestry fabric is such that the couch somewhat glows in the light. It also happens to match the crimson palladio throw I already owned as well as the gold chenille throw. The crimson looks wonderful next to the fireplace, and I plan to paint the walls a light blue to bring out the blue in the couch. The coffee table has drawers and plenty of place for storage. It's great for magazines, my little financial calendar and pencil pack, and board games. I think when we paint the walls and trim, our place will look even better. We do plan to get hardwood rather than carpet, but that's a slightly later project. My husband thinks I should start calling to get estimates, because in a month, neither of us will be home during the day during the week to get estimates done. He's right. I'll put that on my list.

We also got the china cabinet and unpacked our china into it. It looks so lovely! Something about having a china cabinet and a hope chest makes this place feel like a Home, not just a place to park our stuff. I get to walk by the china cabinet every day and think of our wedding and all the people who love us as represented by the beautiful china they gave us. One of my neighbors back in Kansas made me a hand-knit lace doily and it is absolutely incredible. I love it love it love it! I have it displayed under a crystal bowl. I get the warm fuzzies whenever I look at the cabinet. How blessed we are to be so loved!

I was telling my husband last night that I feel better after this little spree. Previously, I felt like I was still living the crappy student life with free, stinky furniture and boxes everywhere, except for the added stress of being somewhat isolated and lonely. The isolation I liked because living in the city sucked, but the loneliness of his being gone all day and all evening was wearing on me. I suppose I felt like I was getting the worst of both worlds--crappy student standard of living, lonely housewife feeling at home. After spending awhile unpacking with him (and having furniture to unpack INTO), I now feel like a Homeowner. I also have been getting more involved in church (now that we live nearby), and took part in a dramatic liturgical reading yesterday and went to my committee meeting last week. I think I am REALLY going to enjoy being on that committee; it's right up my alley and I heartily enjoy the other members of it. I truly enjoy the church we go to now. There is a lot of room for improvement, but by and large it is already an excellent fit. Joining that church has made a huge difference in my happiness level. My husband originally wanted to live south or west of town, but I pointed out that we would not be able to be involved in church as much--the ONE thing I like about Boston--and he agreed that on this particular issue, my happiness was a factor in addition to the commute. Now that we have settled into North Reading, we love it. It's exactly like Mayberry from the Andy Griffiths show--people even congregate outside the Dairy Queen on Sunday afternoons! It's a great fit for us, and I'm so glad we moved here.

We also got a fancy welcome basket from all the local small business owners. It has free stuff, coupons, information, and even a manicure kit! It was all done up in cellophane and had a bow and I felt all giddy as I unpacked it. I'm glad I went through it carefully because there are a lot of services I'm going to need, and many of the local businesses that perform said services gave us little coupons. As I have mentioned before, my husband is absolutely swamped, and he has been nearly ready to flip becaues of his paradox: he can't get good writing done on his thesis until he can clear his mind, but he when he sits down to clear his mind, it's time to get some sleep. He's simply not HOME enough. Well, there are some local day spas, and they have New Homeowner Specials, and I think I am going to call them and book my husband a massage. He has never had one and has always wanted one. I think it would help him clear his mind and relax. He might be like Lois on Malcolm in the Middle, though--when she gets a massage for the first time, she starts crying from all the pent up stress. Ha ha! Also in Husband News, his great grandmother and great aunt died last week. His family is really stressed out. I realize at this particular time that my troubles (feeling lonely and constantly doing housework) are far less than what others in my life are going through, so I am trying just to suck it up.

I've just about finished my coffee, so I had better shower, do dishes, and get into Cambridge for my meeting.

It's My Blog's Weekiversary!

It has been a whole week since I began this blog. A week! And here I am still posting.

This week has been a bit stressful for me, but I think it has been productive as well. Being sick was no picnic but it did force me to rest--something I needed very badly. Yesterday I pampered myself and bought the leaf vacuum I've been wanting. I love gardening and landscaping but I do NOT care for raking leaves off stone. The woman who lived here before us considered herself a master gardener. She must have meant Zen gardener, because the whole stinking yard is covered in stepping stones, cobblestones, and a few chunks of quartz. I will have to get rid of all of it! First, of course, I have to get rid of the 4 inch layer of leaves off the top, and that is just unpleasant with a rake; every time you strike a rock, it sends shivers up your arm. I am hoping this leaf vacuum/mulcher will make it simpler for me. I am going to give it a go this afternoon and I hope to get terribly dirty in the process.

In other purchase news, I found a goooooooorgeous china cabinet for $250, well within our price range. We've been receiving our china in boxes all week, and it's sitting on the counter. When we move the china cabinet here on Sunday, I will be able to put the china IN the china cabinet! I'm so excited. This china cabinet is really beautiful, too. It will play off our maple cabinetry very well. I also found an oak chest for $100. I've wanted a Hope Chest since I was a little girl, and my husband and I each have our little allotted funds for things for ourselves that the other can't complain about. My husband maxed his out on a fancy cell phone and PDA, and I haven't found anything worth buying yet. Well--until this! I think I may fill it with sweaters or other things for now and use it as a coffee table until we purchase a real coffee table. I can think of tons of places this chest could go in this house, but the important thing is that it is MINE, and only MY special things go in it. I have to admit I'm being childish about this, but a Hope Chest was my girlhood dream much as padlocked diaries are the dreams of other little girls. I finally get one! We're picking it up tonight.

I've been making lots of phone calls because our home insurance is getting cancelled. We already have new insurance lined up, of course, but it's more expensive. There are a bunch of concerns the home insurance company had with our house--the chimney, the crumbling retaining walls, the crumbling front steps, and the cosmetically-damaged back door. We had planned to fix these things slowly as we had the funds, but it looks like we'll be spending savings up front to fix them or face insurance payments that are twice as much as regular payments. Obviously, this isn't the end of the world, but it has lit a fire under my rear. I discovered that the Boston Better Business Bureau has a "One Stop Shopping" function on its website. You fill out the info, your request for what you need (info, estimate, proposal, and the specifics), and within a few days, all applicable BBB members contact you with information. So, I put in a request for retaining wall estimates as well as fencing estimates. If this works as they say it does, it will save me time because we have plenty of things to be fixed. Our chimney will be fixed April 27th, so that's one thing down. Yay!

I also spent quite a bit of time designing and purchasing a system at Target to organize our financial and home information. I should spend about an hour putting things in the proper files today.

I guess that's it. I really should get to work! Got the kitchen to clean, phone calls to make, leaves to vacuum, and more.

Just a Touch More Sugar

And my life will be sweeter. Things are getting better, and I'm starting to feel more clear. My husband and I had a talk in the car about whether the current division of labor is permanent or temporary. I want it to be temporary, as I'm in charge of the house. The way it currently goes is he works full-time and finishes up school, and I work part-time and finish up school. In a sense, he has two full-time jobs, and I only have 1.25. So, I'm taking care of the house and doing the laundry, shopping, cleaning, etc. It's fine for a temporary arrangement--in fact, it's fair--but when I found myself identifying with my mother's Ladies' Home Journal over spring break I felt frightened! The last thing I want is to wake up in 30 years and not know my spouse. The second-to-last thing I want is to work AND take care of the kids AND take care of the house for the next 30 years. Women often work far more hours a day than men, and thus resent their ungrateful lumps of husband fat. I don't want that. Anyway, my husband emphatically agreed that this isn't a long-term arrangement. Given our past conversations about dividing up the housework 50/50 (he feels as strongly as I do about it), I figured this was temporary. In the meantime, though, he's burnt out and nearly miserable. He's so tired. I want to help but I'm recovering from strep so I'm just going to try to continue picking up slack where I can and keep going. The one thing we do have is a steady, albeit boring marriage. We don't have drama between us--any drama occurs outside our marriage and we deal with it together. I did go to the grocery and make a pot roast today. I have more to do but I stopped to drink tea, as my head had begun to hurt and I'm trying to ward off more Advil. I only have two left in the whole bottle!!!

Tonight is my first meeting with the Evangelism Committee at church. I'm excited! I like everyone I know on it, and I'm honestly excited about both seeing them in a small setting and tackling evangelism together with them. I have some ideas brewing for 20s-and-30s evangelism and I am ready to get going.

Turned in a paper today and need to finish up my thesis by Monday. Icky poo! I'm so sick of school, but I need to remind myself that

this too shall pass (and no doubt quicker than it should). --one of my favorite quotes EVER, from Pride and Prejudice

Snoooooore

I had my one day in the sun and then beginning Saturday morning I was sick as a dog! I laid in bed all Saturday and went to the doc on Sunday, as it hadn't gotten better. Turns out I have full-blown strep throat! After I took my meds Sunday afternoon, I felt a bit better, but last night I could hardly sleep because my throat hurt so badly. This morning I got up, had some breakfast so that I could take my advil and medication, and promptly passed out on the couch while iming with a friend. So, here I am, just woken up, and I feel like I wasted my whole weekend. Truthfully, though, I hadn't felt as badly as I felt this weekend in years. Every muscle in my body ached, including my earlobes. My head was pounding, my fever was nearly 102, my stomach was churning, my throat was nearly swollen shut, and I couldn't pay attention to anything but whether I was hot or cold. It was terrible, and I'm glad I slept through most of it! I had planned to stay awake all day today to help me sleep tonight, and I obviously blew that already. But, the good news is that I already feel better than I did this morning. I plan to try to do some dishes if I can, or at least tidy up the house a tiny bit. It's a mess.

How's that for a boring update? But I think I'm by-and-large past the major pain.