Weekend Update

Well, it has been requested that I update, and I confess I don't have much news. The wedding photos are on their way and we've been painting the living room this weekend. We're going with a cream-and-goldish Tuscan Accents and it has struck me that perhaps we should switch the couch and the loveseat to make the room feel more open. We also painted the ceiling and it looks SO much better. Of course, with the white walls (the base of the Tuscan Accents), the carpet looks awful. It really is stained everywhere. We're getting our white oak floors installed in October--woohoo! All we have to do is spruce up the fireplace and our living room will be finished. I plan to post pictures as we go.

I just read We're Pregnant this afternoon. What a roller coaster!!! I laughed, I cried, and I swear I felt like I had given birth by the end. I have such awful baby fever; it's really getting frustrating. The husband still says we'll try this spring because my vacation days will renew and I'll be able to make it to all my doctors' appointments. My vote is this winter. We'll see how the house is going, I suppose.

The husband and I have had some talks recently--he keeps trying to get me excited about B-school--and honestly, it's not fully working. Talking about something that I *kind-of* want while putting off what I *really* want makes me feel like what I *really* want will never happen. Added to that is the fact that I've only committed to think about B-school this spring--I'm still not sold on going. I am honestly still deciding whether the corporate life is for me. The alternative would be to try to have a small business of my own--probably in internet marketing--that would pay small bills while I raise my kids. We say we want four and I just don't see how we're going to have four and have me work full time. What's the point if you're just going to stick them in daycare and after-school care?

As Autumnadytum pointed out, my husband's expectations and mine aren't quite jiving. He never expected to have a stay-at-home wife/mother and I never expected to have to work while the kids were young. I wonder who will win? I don't have any major beef with daycare but I don't relish the idea. I want to raise my own kids. Does this make me closed-minded? Is this an implicit slam on those who put their kids in daycare? I hope not--I don't mean it as such. Am I wasting my Harvard/Vanderbilt education? Maybe, but I also feel like life is more than showing off degrees. There's a deeper side to existence that involves my number one priority--family. Additionally, the fact of the matter is that it's just *not that easy* for me to have a real job while my husband is a career Boy Scout Executive. He's gone in the evenings and random weekends so much that when I work 8-6, I rarely see him. I want to stay home to be with the kids, pick up the slack, and work out of a home office. I want to have a real family, and if we constantly miss each other day-to-day...well, it's just not worth it (having my own corporate career). So these are thoughts that are swimming around in my head. If anybody has any advice or even just thoughts, please add a comment and share. If you have found a balance between bills, kids, and a husband's erratic schedule, would you tell me how you did it?

The husband is really hungry so it's off to the grocery we go, then back to do our final layer of Tuscan gold. I'll post pix once I have them.