Confession

I have a confession.

I got to reading so much about the perils of pregnancy that I scared myself witless and began another round of birth control on Thursday. My husband feels very relaxed about it but agreed that if I were nervous, waiting a month wouldn't be much of a bother. Plus, we've agreed that we're going to read, "We're Pregnant," a book written during the duration of a pregnancy by a happily married couple. Perhaps we need a bit more time to think and talk about not just having a baby--which we know we could do--but the responsibility of raising a person. Eh, in any case, it's only a month. Also, we had done the math and found that we were not, in fact, going to be able to have me stay home for more than a few months. Frustrating! There are many options, however, and the one I like the most would be for me to go into business for myself. In my current position at work (web content specialist, a job that I'm finding to be super-fun), I write copy for the web and for other promotional material, do web layout, interview people, and more. It is so great, and it's something that I could do from home and simply contract out. A woman at work does that--in fact she contracts out part of her week to my company. She said it's a great job to do from home and referred me to the websites of some of her mentors--many of whom are mothers themselves. So I am taking the time to look at this and possibly drum up some business on the side--not for competitors, of course, but local churches or something. I also can do web design. As you can tell, there's a lot to think about. And to be honest, every month of work adds a considerable amount to the bank account, money that we're putting toward our most pressing loans. Every month that I work means two months longer that I could stay home with the baby without working. THAT is a real impetus.

So, now that I don't hate my job, I am indulging my inquisitive side and using the time to educate myself on exactly what I will be going through. My husband is doing so also. Plus, we're fixing up the house as quickly as possible (once I'm pregnant, I really shouldn't be around fumes). So...that's my confession.

As an aside, I really do enjoy this position at work, and I'm great at it so far. This week I get to learn Dreamweaver and I'm teaching myself html programming. After I master most of html (the basics), I'll begin css.

Today is our first anniversary--yay! We had soooo much fun yesterday. We went to the zoo downtown and they had Baby Day, where they had a bunch of activities for kids and all the baby animals on display. My favorite was the baby giraffe. Then we went to the mall and walked around, and after that we came back and made cheese fondue, drank a bottle of champagne, and watched the Pink Panther. And today we played bells in church and went out for nachos and margaritas. Now we're tidying the house and are going to put up our new kitchen fan (it's above 90 today!) because we don't have air conditioning and we have dinner guests coming over at six. We're feeling fat and happy, and ever so much in love. A year ago I would have told you I never could have loved my husband more than I did then, but I do. It is a real blessing in the changing sands of time to feel your infatuation and deep respect for a person grow. It's not just love, it's...intoxicating dedication. Is there anything better than coming home every night to the love of your life? I am so blessed.