So as I was waiting for my husband to come to bed last night, my latest fear hit me. I've been reading through my pregnancy book, confused about how exactly women SURVIVE this, and I realized that my biggest fear is that my marriage will take a turn for the worse once we add a child to the mix. How realistic is this? Is this a common fear? I don't mind some stress, but I do mind total annihilation.
On a more metaphysical note, I think I will try to track my feelings and thoughts during the pregnancy. Perhaps I can continue my senior thesis habit of writing devotionals throughout my pregnancy, and maybe something will come of it. I've picked out a journal online, though I realize I'll likely end up typing most of it.
1 comment:
We were never able to have biological children. We adopted an infant the day he was born, and he passed away. We later adopted two more boys.
I think it did contribute to some very difficult times in our marriage. It was rocky, but we pulledthrough.
The largest part of the problem was my fault. I did not do my share to help my wife with all the added responsibilities and the resentements grew, and my inattentiveness grew.
I woke up barely in time.
Now we approach our lives as a couple with kids. not as a family.
We think it is important for our kids to see that we hold each other up, respect each other, love each other, and then turn to other tasks, including them, as a team.
They need to see that we will always love each other if they are to have a model for their own marriages to last.
They will move out one day, and our lives cannot be all about them if we are to stay together, loving each other, for all of our lives.
Bottom line: I think there are reasons you might have such fears, another child does change things. But open communication, a real relationship, that is what will carry you and your family through.
God bless.
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